Napoleon Dynamite and the Democratic Primary

Napoleon Dynamite is a great film. Very funny, very original. But who ever knew it would predict the state of the 2008 Democratic Presidential primaries?

In that film there is a student election between Summer and Pedro.

Summer is well established, she is popular, she has the well liked class jock as her boyfriend. All the pretty girls hang out with her. She makes all sorts of promises that have little to do with actually being student body president.

Well, I'd never thought I would make it here today. I would be a great class president because I promise to put two new pop machines in the cafeteria. And I'm also gonna get a glitter Bonnie bell dispenser for all the girls' bathrooms. Oh, we're gonna get new cheerleading uniforms. Anyway I think I'd be a great class president. Who wants to eat chimmychangas all year long? Not me. See, with me it will be summer all year long.

Pedro is a newcomer. Not too many know who he is when he signs up for the election. He is a minority. People say that he has no chance against the populist Summer. But people underestimated the hope Pedro would instill in the hopeless, in the downtrodden, in the picked on and nerdy. Pedro makes promises that are vague and yet, appealing. "Vote for me and all of your wildest dreams will come true!"

In the end Pedro wins the election, powered by the nerds, the rejects and yes, the minorities at the school. It didn't hurt either that he had the help of some of his friends involved in organized crime. Summer is left pouting and complaining. Will Hillary be left pouting this November, when the Presidency she is entitled to is "stolen" away from her by some upstart Senator who has the audacity to hope? A Senator that proclaimed,

“In the end, ... that's what this election is about. Do we participate in a politics of cynicism, or do we participate in a politics of hope?”

Ah, Barack. You do love your hope. Hope for this, hope for that, hope for change, hope for the poor woman who has nothing, and the rich man with everything. Wait, scratch that last one. Rich people are a plague on society.

Rather than politics of cynicism or hope, it is time we recognize the politics of reality. We are a nation that leads the world in social, economic, and military progress. We are not, as a nation, running for Student Body President of the world. We do not care if we are popular, and if there are new pop machines in the lunch room. We did not rise to power playing the part of populists, and we will not remain in power doing so either.

The politics of hope are the politics of a man with no experience, no concrete plan for moving America forward, and no foundation in reality. People can swoon and sway in orgasmic displays of idiocy when Barack blows his nose. They can preach about change and hope and pretty flowers. What will it gain them? I would guess that if Barack Obama is elected President it would leave his supporters gasping for air in a four year state of euphoric nothingness. A bliss of inaction and cliche.

As for the rest of us? I guess we will be left... hoping for change. Damn it!